Just a few quotes in my recent search for understanding "authenticity". I still don't get it, but I'm trying. I struggling with where that which I know to be true from personal experimentation in my life fits into that which is part of the "core self", and how to live in harmony with both, even if currently the two are not resonating together.
"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be."
-- Lao Tzu
"Secrets aren't lies... they're simply the truth when you're ready to tell it."
-- From a website to remain nameless.
"The unexamined life is not worth living."
"Authenticity refers to the truthfulness of origins, attributions, commitments, sincerity, devotion and intentions."
"Finding authenticity is not an event, but a life-long process of emerging from ourselves as the music around and within us changes, and we continue to seek resonance. Far from discouraging, this realization brings with it the realistic hope that we will many times experience the miracle of rebirth. This process is terrifying at times, and it is exhilarating."
-- Bob McCue
"And now as I said concerning faith - faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true... And now, behold, because ye have tried the experiment and planted the seed, and it swelleth and sprouteth and beginneth to grow, ye must needs know that the seed is good. And now, behold, is your knowledge perfect? Yea, your knowledge is perfect in that thing, and your faith is dormant; and this because you know, for ye know that the word hath swelled your souls, and ye also know that it hath sprouted up, that your understanding doth begin to be enlightened, and your mind doth begin to expand."
-- Alma 32:21. 33, 34
"... if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?"
-- Alma 5:26
It still seems that one who is "authentic" (and this seems to be used heavily and constantly by the gay community in arguing the need for all gay people to "come out" and to "not stay in the closet" and to leave those notions of outside influences aside) is saying that one is "honest with himself". I've read many a "testimony" by those who have abandoned the past and the cobwebs of their closets and vibrated and resonated in a new awakening of "self", and I'm fascinated and intrigued by these stories and I want to know more and to understand what they are experiencing... but I still have a major disconnect. Maybe that disconnect will always be there as I stay in my closet.
I haven't been honest with myself for most of my life. However, to be honest, I am trying to be honest now, even if I still withhold certain things about myself to those around me. I am struggling with the idea that authenticity requires negating that which I "know" to be true (and by that, all that goes with that in the Mormon sense of personal revelation and testimony). If I can't do that, does that mean I will never be honest with my true self, and thus never authentic? Should authenticity be a goal that I should strive for? Shouldn't my authentic self be one that is centered on my "self" resonating with God?
I'm pretty ignorant when it comes to philosophy... something that has never crossed my plate - a gap or another disconnect in my education.
I'm interested in it though and trying to learn what I'm missing... I see life from my Mormon boy box. Some may see this as very limiting. I have felt it many times to be very illuminating, with real examples of connection to my core self and my God.
Help me to know what I'm missing.
I still need more time. I want to understand what others see that I can't see...