The privilege to work is a gift.
The power to work is a blessing.
The love of work is success.
-- David O. McKay
After a long holiday, it is hard to get back into the grind. I'm beginning to lose my love of work. After more than a decade of working 70-80 hour weeks, I'm worn out and the love is gone. I used to work because I loved my career, my self-employed business, my profession. I used to work, however, to keep me from thinking of other things - it was a way of avoiding the inevitable. It was a way to distance myself from my wife, from my family, from myself. Keeping busy with work, doing good "works", kept me from being "idle".
As I've come "out" to myself, as I've come back to my wife, as I seek to be part of my family, work isn't the shield that it once was. Also, I am wrapping up several projects and the work load is slumping. I should be celebrating. But I'm not. More idle time isn't necessarily good. I'm worried about it. My weaknesses manifest themselves when I'm idle.
Of course, work, as physics describes it, is that force or effort against gravity. Mental work doesn't even count in physics. So maybe I don't truly work at all. As I traveled in India a few months ago, I saw men, like ants, swarming over construction sites with a parade of manual labor. It was amazing to me, particularly as I find myself on construction sites in the USA every week, how industrious and effective manual labor could be without modern conveniences. With enough men on the job site, anything could be done.
Our priesthood quorum moved a neighbor this past weekend - your typical heavy furniture stuff. Getting my son to participate in this service project was not as painful as I thought it would be. We had a good time, mainly because many able hands showed up - and he felt the "love of work".
I'm finding the joy of my profession is not there. The pressure of liability insurance, of threatening law suits, of pending legal hassles - makes it fatiguing. Am I getting old? This sounds like the makings of a good mid-life crisis. I just want to change careers and grab my camera and travel the world discovering new sights and adventures.
Apologies for whining and rambling. I guess I should realize the wisdom of David O. McKay. It is a privilege to work. It is a blessing.