How do you wish your will on someone else? Should you? Is that even something that is right to do?
How do you will someone to live? How do you rekindle a desire to eat? to breathe? When the body has decided to shut down and no longer processes normal things such as thoughts and food and air, can it be retaught to care, to function, to live?
How do you restore hope that has been shattered? Once hope has been lost, can it be found?
How do you love someone that doesn't want to be loved? How can you offer yourself to someone that won't receive you?
What do you wish for someone?
What do you live for?
What do you hope for?
What makes you want to get up each day and eat, and breathe, and live?
What keeps you loving when you don't get love in return?
I don't mean to be down, but this road we are on in our family is a long discouraging one. It's draining. It's fatiguing. It's frustrating. I want things to be better now, not later. I want solutions and actions, not indecision and apathy. I don't want two steps forward and one-and-a-half back.
I have no answers. Do you?
I want lots of things that I can't have.
I'm sorry to be negative and consumed in my own world here (of course that is what all blogs are for, no?) I promise to get back soon to my own angsty self-centered Beck posts.