YOKE

I recognize and personally believe that "change" is possible as we evolve as who we are with time, experience, knowledge etc. I am not the same person I was in high school or college or even last year. And I don't desire to be. Though I wish I were younger, better looking, more athletic etc., I don't want go back in time and relive the past if I can't take the knowledge and experience with me. Does that make sense?

So, as -L- points out, we are all changing and evolving - hopefully to someone better. That change is inevitable as we strive to improve who we are.

I recognize and personally believe that ultimately my goal is to be more godlike and that in the eternal aspect of things, the "change" is potential as I accept His will and accept the Atonement. I don't doubt that my traits and characteristics have that potential to evolve into His image. I believe that this evolution is one that I cannot do myself - perfection comes from Christ, not from my "trying really hard to be good and work myself into perfection". (-L-: I don't think we're that far apart here).

But, I recognize that some things may not be "changed" in this life! That is why the scriptures (and Elder Oak's most recent conference talk) are very clear in distinguishing between "healing those who are heavy laden" verses "making one's burden light". Making one's burden light does not take away, evolve, or "change" that burden. The burden is most definitely still there!!! It didn't go a way!! And it may never go away in this life! Why? I don't know - maybe lessons to be learned? Maybe something we need to experience? I don't know... But that is why He offers his yoke - "take my yoke upon you". He doesn't remove His yoke nor our yoke... but He promises to make it "light". So - all I'm saying here is some things in this life remain an integral part of who we are. These challenges, these experiences, these blessings, these burdens REMAIN with us and are not "changed" or "taken from us". But, as he makes these things "light", we can learn from them, grow in the ways we need to grow, evolve as we need to evolve on our journey without being destroyed in the process... Change, in this life, isn't necessarily a requirement. Allowing Him to lighten our burdens is our privilige.

(NOTE: for some, the healing is possible - I don't doubt - but for me, for now, I don't see that this experience that I call my life will be healed through some miraculous "change". For me the "great lie" would be to say that "change" right here and now is possible, even necessary, and within my grasp if I but work hard enough to bring it about, if I but have enough faith - now in my situation, this promise, this temptation, this sense of hope would be a "great lie"!)

I do not consider my homosexuality a "burden". Instead, it is a challenge, even a blessing, and from this challenge and blessing I have learned much! I have become who I am! Even in this last year, this experience has opened my eyes to new aspects of who I am - things that I may not have seen otherwise. Why would I desire to "change" this? I shouldn't!

(I don't want to quivel over semantics - however, this fundamental principle is not semantics!)

I may be cutting myself short. I may be missing the point! I may be sucked into the "great lie" and therefore I'm caving into the natural man or the devil's temptations themselves... But...

For now, for here and now, today, I don't desire to "change"who I am with this scriptural "burden"... I don't see the need... I desire to take His yoke upon me instead, and allow him to make my load light!

So go ahead and tell me where I'm still screwed up! After all, I recognize how flawed I still am and will continue to be!