Friday, September 01, 2006
And then they begin to LIVE...
I still can't bring myself to formulate into words the experiences I've had over the last few weeks. I still need more time...
So, since I can't articulate anything meaningful, I'll allow my 6-year old daughter to do so for me.
She was watching 101 Dalmations yesterday and I asked her to tell me what it was about. In her very unique way, she said:
"Well, this man and this women get all tangled up with their dogs in the park, and then they get married, and then they begin to live!
I don't know why that struck me so profoundly, and I don't remember inculcating her to think that way, but it hit me that we center all expectations and our lives around LIVING after marriage. She accepted it completely. Many others do too.
I have a 30 year old accomplished nephew who is single. All his mother can think about is why her son isn't married and how he can't start LIVING his life until he is. It begins to be the topic of discussion at any family gathering, and if this nephew brings a "friend" around, the gossip immediately spins around whether "she's the one".
We had a driver on our recent "trip" who was working 20 hours a day to make enough money to build a dowery for his sister so that she could get married. We asked about whether he was married. Matter-of-factly, he stated that his father was dead and so it fell upon him to see that his sister was properly married FIRST. Then he could think about marriage for himself and LIVING his life.
We became friends with another young man who just got married, though it was an arranged marriage by his parents and the bride's parents. Mind you, this was a very educated, 21st century college graduate young man, who accepted such arrangements as best for all involved so that he didn't have to worry about the entanglements of courtship. But now, he can begin LIVING.
I know I wanted to be married so that I could be the good Mormon boy and create that ideal family that brings eternal life and eternal increase. My life after my mission had to be centered around that "next step" or else I wasn't doing my "duty" and I couldn't get on with LIFE.
I don't know exactly where I'm going with this... just thought it interesting that even my 6-year-old daughter is convinced that LIFE doesn't start until after marriage.
I sometimes wonder when my LIFE is going to start...