I got back yesterday from a life-changing experience. (I know that sounds like a pretty sappy phrase, but in many ways it was. I don't know how else to describe it. I'm still the same person - but I'm seeing my world with "different" eyes now). I'm really having a hard time trying to articulate inside my mind and soul, let alone on this blog-page what I'm feeling and what I've experienced over the past three weeks.
I've scanned the blog-vicinity and discovered many new additions to the neighborhood! It's hard to read all that is happening in everyone's lives and I lack the ability to feel like I can contribute, though I find strength in this cyber-community. It's hard to get back into the swing of things.
Some things seem less important to me right now. I'm quite calm about my "issues" and feel less angst. (Maybe I should rename my blog). Distancing myself from certain situations has helped, at least for the immediate future. Temptations have moved on to university life far away from my daily routine. This is a good thing. Yes, it is a good thing for all involved... Relationships with family and more importantly with my wife have improved.
These are all generalities. I feel "general" right now. The specifics will come in time as I internalize the last few weeks.
Additionally, I'm facing some potential job-change / career-change. And we're facing some possible changes to our family... Again, "generalities" right now. It's a time of change and I'm purposefully vague because I don't know yet how to articulate what is happening inside.
For what it's worth, I will try in the coming weeks to express feelings - for my benefit - using this blog to sort it out. If others benefit along the way, I'm grateful.
Still, it's hard to start up again... but Beck is back!