Over on Abelard's blog there is a comment-trail going on regarding the reaction to the Church's recent statement of supporting nondiscrimination ordinances in SLC.
I have taken the position that this is a positive step, that the timing was good and appropriate and that the reiteration of Church statements in the past in standing up for nondiscrimination legislation is a "good thing". I feel it was a swaying influence and it did have an affect on the outcome of the vote. But, more than anything, it gives substance to those like me who are arguing with neighbors about anti-discrimination measures and having the Church on my side and not on the side of the ilk of the Sutherland Institute supporters, including some of my fellow quorum members who see any step as a step onto that proverbial slippery slope.
(Note: Just seeing the Sutherland Institute's reaction has been hilarious! It just shows how out of step they are, even with the Brethren! And that makes me happy! I can't help but feel that as SI continues down their path of hate, they will move more and more out of step with the Brethren (need I say apostasy?) instead of lock-step with them - and this is a "good thing"!!!)
Sure, I was disappointed that the Church remained silent in last year's legislative session not putting their muscle behind the equality measures being considered. And yes, I will be disappointed again if the Church does not follow up this stance with one on Capitol Hill next year.
But, what really gets me is the underlying spirit of bitterness, cynicism and anger that has enveloped the MOHO community at large. I could be wrong, but am I the only one in this community who sees this action as a "positive step" without having to throw out a zinger about "motives" or "just a PR move", or "too little and too late". Can't it be seen as just a step in the right direction without the cynicism and bitterness?
Am I viewed as "settling for too little" and not being "gay enough" to not feel the hurt and pain and bitterness? Am I not homosexual enough?
It feels like I'm alone out here. I've moved myself from the general MOHO community for other reasons, but maybe, unbeknownst to me, I've moved myself from the general community in more ways than one. No one is really going to read this anyway, but I saddened. I'm sad that because things are going better for me and I don't feel the bitterness as much that I'm not "gay enough". I'm saddened that any view that looks at the Church in a positive light is considered as "giving in to the enemy" or at best, being an "apologist".
I'm also saddened because I do feel the pain and hurt and anger - personally. My personal homosexual battle with the Church has placed me in destructive places. But, now that things are going a bit better, and because I choose to see silver linings in the dark clouds above me, does that make me a Pollyanna?
Bitterness is poison. I have been bitter. It isn't the way I choose to live.