LeBron James, however, said he didn't think an openly gay person could survive in the league.
"With teammates you have to be trustworthy, and if you're gay and you're not admitting that you are, then you are not trustworthy," James said. "So that's like the No. 1 thing as teammates - we all trust each other. You've heard of the in-room, locker room code. What happens in the locker room stays in there. It's a trust factor, honestly. A big trust factor."
I can understand that... I don't like the comment, but I understand it... It's made me wonder what my missionaries in the MTC dorms or the YM on camping trips would think if I were to admit what Aemichi just admitted - that I was gay the whole time. Was I not a "team player"? Was I not trustworthy?
My personal deception at the time didn't allow me to be open to myself, let alone my "guys". And my coming out to myself happened "after" such associations in an official capacity... all justifications for feeling okay about this timing of things, I know... but I don't feel okay. I feel a bit melancholy today about my lack of trustworthiness. I've deceived a lot of people in my life. I've lived a double life that is full of lack of integrity and honesty. And I continue to live that un-trusting lie...
I'm not very pleased with myself today... I feel empty for what I feel toward many of my unreal "guy relationships" that I've cultivated under false pretenses in the spirit of having "proper male bonding" in my gospel-centered life. Let's be honest - I'm full of crap! If I could have had something more, I would have! I know I would have! How sick is that?
And I guess I'm also down because my untrustworthy attitude has kept me from knowing the "hippest, hottest" city right under my nose!