Over at NED’s blog I commented:
…what are the "rules" about touching in non-sexual appropriate ways? What if those non-sexual "touchings" become arousing between two married MOHOs? Then what are the rules?
And what kind of "rules" should govern "male/male friendships" between married MOHOs? When do such friendships become inappropriate?
What if those non-sexual "touchings" become arousing between two married MOHOs?
... So what if they do?
Arousal isn't a sin. Nor does arousal (necessarily) indicate that whatever you're doing is a sin. Arousal is just a physiological reaction to any of a number of things, many of them completely harmless.
I've gotten aroused when comforting a friend who was having a hard time. I was certainly not doing anything wrong, or even thinking anything wrong--and I appropriately chose to ignore whatever it was my body was trying to say and focus on giving him the comfort and support he needed.
We are taught (by society, to an extent, but especially by the church) that arousal is an indication that we're doing something wrong (unless it's with a spouse). That's one of the "rules" that should be discarded, IMO.
A better rule might be "arousal is a physiological response that is not wrong in and of itself and that doesn't need to be acted on".
I never said or even suggested that "arousal was a sin"! I perfectly understand from many experiences that "arousal is just a physiological reaction to any of a number of things, many of them completely harmless..." What I was suggesting was that maybe arousal between two MOHO guys that are married in MOMs may consider the mutual arousal as a possible crossing-the-line rule, not a crossing-the-line sin!
Two older MOHOs in MOMs feeling such arousal between them may also signal that both are still "alive and well", which is a good thing for some of us! :)
So, I've been thinking... I think sexual arousal is a wonderful thing! I do not think it sinful. I think it is amazing… and anyone my age who still has it going on should also realize how amazing it really is!
I have been sexually aroused multiple times cuddling with my “special friends” from my mission! I was confused...
I have been sexually aroused several times simply hugging and holding my “special friends” in my ward! I was embarrassed...
I have been sexually aroused numerous times by myself! I was um... :)
I have been sexually aroused even more times with the help of my wife. It wasn’t always so easy and still is at times a lot of “work”, but we’ve finally got it figured out... I was grateful...(thank you!)
And yes, I have been sexually aroused a couple of times by a non-sexual, but bromantic encounter with a certain fellow MOHO in the community! And I was no longer confused or embarrassed or felt any guilt. I was just so happy for that magical and totally and completely natural and beautiful reaction...
And I think they are all beautifully wonderful! They are not a sin!
You know, a few years ago, when I started this blog, I would have been comsumed with angst and guilt over such a post (particularly following my previous post on conference... hey, I'm not a flat persona), but now I don't. Is that considered growth and self-acceptance, or am I way off the holding to the iron rod (no pun intended)?
And, in the spirit of the discussion on “rules”, what should be the rule for non-sexual but definite non-sinning arousal between fellow MOHOs? Particularly if you are in a MOM, or other committed relationship, what should be the rule on arousal? Should it be viewed as that proverbial line not to be crossed? Should there be any bromantic arousals permitted for MOM MOHOs outside those with their spouse? What if there are no arousals with their spouse - then what?