|1.||a subtle, tricky, superficially plausible, but generally fallacious method of reasoning.|
|2.||a false argument; sophism.|
In Church on Sunday there was a discussion of "sophistries", relating to the arguments or teachings of the world that seem very true at the surface, and yet subtly false at the core.
One brother gave an example: "BE TRUE TO YOURSELF!"
Now, over the course of the last 9 months of blogging, I've heard this advice countless times given to myself and others regarding the importance of accepting the essence of being "gay". And to not be true to oneself (one's gayness) because of outside pressures of religion, tradition, culture etc. is completely wrong; to deny oneself of his basic sexual identity, leads only to self-hatred, unhappiness, and self-inflicting angst and misery.
To a great extent, I do believe this - particularly when it comes to beating up on oneself, hating oneself, wanting to cause harm to oneself. I've been there / done that, and it isn't a good place to be. To come to terms with the truth of oneself is a GOOD THING.
This brother said further. "Being true to oneself - sounds good, sounds right, sound irrefutable. But being true to oneself over what IS right and good, is wrong. It's a subtle thing..."
It has made me think a lot this week of my coming to terms with "who I am" and "being true to myself". I am more than my sexual orientation. I have thoughts and feelings, spiritual promptings and revelations, experiences and knowledge gained from life's trials and experiences that make me who I am as well. I need to be true to myself when all of these other parts of myself tell me otherwise to NOT act upon these very real, very powerful, very consuming passions I feel toward guys, and a couple of guys in particular. I need to be true to my married self. I need to be true to my family self. I need to be true to my religious self. I need to be true to my sexual self.
As these various selves combine and conflict with each other, I find the axiom of "being true to yourself" ringing hollow. There's got to be something more to live for! There's got to be something that IS true, and right and good for all aspects of myself, not just one aspect of myself.
I don't want to judge anyone who has chosen against this line of thinking. These are my thoughts. I don't know where I'm even going with this. I feel like I'm Jimmy Stewart in "It's a Wonderful Life" where he makes the deal with Mr. Potter and shakes his hand to draw up the papers for a lucrative job and career move - and then looks down at his hand and becomes creeped-out by what he just did...
It just doesn't feel right FOR ME, to live my life by this axiom of life. As much as I want to kiss a guy and make love to a guy doesn't mean necessarily that I should do it. Does it? Be true to yourself - maybe should be "Be true to truth."
Aww... but there's the rub... what is truth?
It's not sophistry!