I have a confession...
If you didn't already know, I really like guy eye-candy.
At first it was an innocent flirtation - a few minutes a day. My "collection" grew and grew and I always wanted more. Then, when I got caught by my son (almost a year ago), and confronted my wife about it, I deleted my entire collection and swore it off completely and went cold turkey for months.
Slowly, I've crawled back into the guy eye-candy search and collection mode. It's never journeyed into the p&m addiction, as I've been able to set and keep personal limits in those regards. But, now as the "collection" grows again, I find myself thick in the hunt for more. And more. And more. It's consuming too much time.
I love the bromancing pictures, the artsy compositions of the male form, the romancing pictures, the good looking guy that I envy. It's not something that is sexual (or is that me just in denial?). It's not even an arousal thing (I find no desire to go to harder stuff - in fact it turns me off). So what is it? Why do I allow myself to get into this search mode of finding beautiful guys?
Is it a substitute for a male relationship that I've never satisfied? Is it because I'm getting older and regretting the lost youth (as noted in my last post)? Is it because I don't satisfy my needs with p&m? Is it because I don't watch cable TV?
I've been able to keep this controlled, but I'm concerned it's becoming too much of a habit.
Am I alone in this? Any thoughts or advice or counsel?