I had a remarkable experience yesterday in meeting another MoHo. I really have never intended to meet anyone, and have told others that I don't make this a habit or even a goal, but it happened again, and it was so wonderful!
We had lunch and then just talked. It was so good to feel spiritually and brotherly connected in such a miraculous way with someone so incredible.
None of this would have happened, this connection, except for this "Community of Saints" that is this blogging queerosphere. I remember discussing this with Samantha about a month ago when we met and she stated emphatically back to me that this is no mere coincidence, this connection we make with each other. It is real! It is a miracle!
I believe it is a miracle, too! I feel very happy today. I feel very at peace. We are all on different paths with different challenges. Some are transitioning into marriage. Others are transferring out of marriages. Some are struggling with any kind of relationship. Some are dealing with MOM commitments and challenges, while others are contemplating other kinds of relationships, including gay partnerships, celibacy etc. Some have left or are contemplating leaving the church, others are remaining faithful, while others aren't sure, while even others have left and are now miraculously coming back. There is no "ONE WAY" in our lives. And right now, I don't care which way you are going or what you may be dealing with. I just want to say "thank you" for being part of my life.
I'm not sure what I expect to evolve with this blog. I use it for my "alter-ego" to speak and have voice in a world where "Beck" is silent otherwise. I guess, in that sense, there will always be a reason for "Beck" to exist. Is this good? Am I compartmentalizing? Am I becoming schizo? I don't think so... I think "Beck" is helping me to become a better me...
Yesterday I met a wonderful person that made me feel wonderful to be who I am. We bonded. It was wonderful!
Thank you all for your voices, your efforts to do your best, your influences on me to do better!
14 comments:
Well said!
I hadn't thought about it in those terms before. But yes, it is a miracle - the way we all congregate into our own little corner of the blogosphere. We are a rag tag band of brothers and sisters helping to lift one another up when we stumble.
Well, well. One of the local mohos is certainly on a pedestal now!
Abe: We are a miracle! I find our connection nothing but miraculous.
Playa: You'll have to guess better than that! I will leave it up to my new pedestal-standing friend to reveal himself if he so chooses. It is fine with me if he chooses not to.
Playa, someday maybe I can put you on a pedestal as well! Your dry sense of humor is impeccable. :)
My email adress is on my profile. Drop me a line so I can reach you. :)
The bonding of friendship is a cement that virtually holds our lives together, if not physically each other's arms. Isn't it wonderful when we actually get to do both?
Since Beck says it's OK to do so, I will come out of the closet and admit that I'm the one who got to meet him last weekend.
I am so thankful for the kindness, love and encouragement I have felt from you married guys... I'm actually short on words to describe it. The rational me would have said it was impossible, given the nature of some of the fault lines within the Church and the warring factions in our larger society that would divide us, and pit married mohos against same-sex mohos, or churched against unchurched. I have felt called to come back to the Church and live as faithfully as I can, given that I am committed to my relationship with my partner, and you guys have never, ever, ever said a discouraging word. Just the opposite. Thank you so much.
If I had realized Playasinmar was in Utah, I would have hunted him down too. I wanna see if he really looks like an adorable white kitten. I'll email you later, 'cuz I'll be back in Utah later this year. Y'all have standing invitations to visit if you ever come to Minnesota. Thank you for being my friends!
Gecko wrote: "Isn't it wonderful when we actually get to do both?"
It is wonderful. It is always one of my goals in life to live in a way such that I can do both! :)
J G-W: You let the cat out of the bag, but I'm glad you did! I want everyone to know just how incredible you are. You are on a unfathomable and pretty scary adventure filled with bumps and scrapes along the way, but also filled with inclusion and love.
Thanks for bringing me into your life and sharing that love with me.
Yikes! I'm not sure how I can hope to live up to such high praise! (*gulp*) (loosening tie) I'd rather settle for just plain old friendship. I'm incredibly lucky to have a new friend who sees so much good in me, and who feels so encouraged by my friendship. The feeling is so very mutual.
"I'd rather settle for just plain old friendship..."
Let's be clear that I meant our friendship-love to be in a "brotherly and spiritual" way as noted in the original post. Heaven forbid that our respective partners or others may interpret otherwise any other meaning... :)
It's not a kitten. ...sheesh...
Beck, I understood exactly what you meant! Yikes, again! Written language can be such an ambiguous medium...
Playa - Whoops! Sorry! I just looked at the photo close up and realized it was a puppy dog. The small picture looks kind of a like a kitty to me.
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