Monday, October 16, 2006

Eliminating the static...

I've had some serious family issues to address this last weekend and it has been good to be consumed in what is really important (not that my non-ending angst whining is less important). Sometimes we need to stop and work on others' issues that are much more pressing than our own, and in the process, magically, our own seem to diminish in scope.

Isn't that funny how that happens? It doesn't mean that I still didn't turn my head when I was 'tempted' by the usual attraction of the flesh. (No, I've come to the conclusion that I will always have these attractions, and will be turning my head at good looking meat - but I'm allowing myself to not DWELL on it and to let it go... to stop the fantasies and to just keep it more sane). Maybe such a tactic will backfire and I will explode like a volcano at some point - but yet again, it's worth the try to keep things settled. For my full attention, my needed "attraction" must be focused on my family right now.

My leadership calling has also focused me (by force) into centering on others and their problems. It's amazing what callings do to me. They make me better than I ever would be without them. They make me be who I want to be, not who I am. I wonder if I will ever get to the point of being willing to serve and give to others without the "assignment" to do so...

There is a certain calm inside my head at this time, and I truly am trying to be more in tune with what the Spirit prompts me to do for my family... Heaven knows I need to be more in tune, eliminating the static of these attractions in my head...

5 comments:

Elbow said...

WOW, that's a brilliant entry. I think you brought up really great points. And as you said "attention" and where you focus it is important, but not as important as how you interpret it.

You're doing well, and I'm just really happy for you.

Beck said...

Don't be too happy. I'm still majorly screwed up! I act like I've got it all figured out, but it takes one look of HIM (whoever that may be) and my head is turned 180 degrees!

Loyalist (with defects) said...

Beck, I was buying a bike a few years ago and the salesman was totally HOT. His eyes, well everytime I looked into them, my knees became jelly and my heart raced. If he had known, he probably could have sold me the store.

Are heads may swivel but our feet must stay on the path.

Kengo Biddles said...

Beck, as my wife and I always say, we're _all_ screwed up in our own messy ways. I'm glad the calling has helped clear the mental airwaves. I think that's part of why I love reading other's blogs.

As for looking, it happens to us _all_.

Beck said...

Loyalist: I've had the same experience from a waiter. I kept wanting to order things just so he'd keep coming back. Sigh!

Kengo: I do feel better about things (and the calling has really helped), but I hate getting so wacked out about the "look". I know we all do it, (I guess we all do it) but in my world, I feel like I'm the only one doing the "looking", stealing that second or third glance. And since I'm the only guy looking at the guy, it feels very much like I'm alone in this thing... I know this is really stupid, but do we ALL really do it???