I'm taking a break from my marriage-angst posts... at least for a while until I feel inspired on how to take the next step...
Over the last couple of weeks I visited two IKEA stores in two different states doing some post-holiday shopping, and my gaydar was beeping around every display. Is that store a gay-magnet or is it just me? I know my gaydar sixth sense isn't the best, but these couples weren't hard to spot. I found myself envying them as they obviously discussed together the European design potential of this or that piece of furniture fitting into their home. I was even jealous of them being so beautiful and open with each other. I couldn't help but watch three (count them "3") different couples in this mode within one store! They were all the perfectly groomed and attired stereotypical type sponsored by the Bravo network.
Contrast that with also recently visiting CABELLA's (I took my son there), the hunting and fishing extravaganza emporium, where I noticed guys in stereotypical flannel plaided untucked shirts, with 4-day-old gruffy beards. Their "straightness" was just as incredibly blatant. And though I felt inferior and uncomfortable in "their" world of "killing" things, I was drawn to and envious of their masculine beauty.
I know I'm playing off of false stereotypes, but the juxtaposition of these two stores with their two different types of male customers was astonishing - like a slap in the face. I found myself admiring both sets of males. Both were attractive in their own ways... but I then I found myself desiring the two worlds to be combined into one... The straight-macho 4-day-old gruffy bearded guy in the flannel shirt openly gay (despite his straightness appearance) and madly in love with another guy lovingly picking out Scandinavian furniture.
Draper and Lehi just two freeway exits apart, and yet worlds light-years apart. Can't I have it all? :) Does this say something about how confused I really am? Here I should be shopping and admiring the merchandise, but, instead, I find myself admiring the different varieties of the male clientele.
This post makes no sense... just as I and my thoughts make no sense...