An interesting quote from yesterday's Gospel Doctrine:
"The ability to turn everything into something good appears to be a godly characteristic. Our Heavenly Father always seems able to do this. Everything, no matter how dire, becomes a victory to the Lord. Joseph, although a slave and wholly undeserving of this fate, nevertheless remained faithful to the Lord and continued to live the commandments and made something very good of his degrading circumstances. People like this cannot be defeated."
-- Hartman Rector, Jr. Oct 1972.
The context was a discussion of Joseph being sold into Egypt, then eventually thrown into prison. Bad things happen to good people, but good things happen in bad circumstances, as good people continue doing the best they can and not lose the faith or the will to keep keepin' on.
Though I don't equate my homosexuality with being a "dire" or "degrading" circumstance, I still see it as a challenge for a person in my situation. That said, I remain confident in the Plan and that someone has a hand in my life with a perspective and understanding and view much more vast that I have. That said, I remain confident also that good things can happen BECAUSE of this circumstance and situation, not despite it as I work to do the best I can.
10 comments:
"...remained faithful to the Lord..."
What about being faithful to yourself? Faithful to you? Faithful to your autonomy? Authenticity? Integrity for self? Being faithful your heart and your individual path?
The concpet of 'Lord' only exists because people are affraid to be themselves. It's too much pressure to have to answer to our own choices and it's safer to put the responsibility on 'the Lord.'
If 'the Lord' does exist then show him your true devotion by being a sentient being who is true to your progress and with your embodied living honest self.
Wyatt: I love ya, man! I love the way you're jumping back into the dialogue here and pressing me to stretch and think and grow and become the best me.
I want to do so as well. Yet, I do see the "concept of 'Lord'" as more than just something that I've made up to pass on my problems and fears. I see the "Lord" as someone real that has meaning and purpose in my life, who helps me to be "authentic" and "faithful to my heart". My heart tells me to stay on the path I'm on - that for me this is authentic and honest for myself.
I don't believe that living my chosen path is any less authentic or real or true. This is my reality. My life with my wife and kids, and all that goes with that, is the most authentic, real, true, honest life I can be living right now... and yes, that includes my continued attractions and desires for men rolled into it as well!
So, how would "being faithful to self" change any of that? It's easy when one is single and free of other entanglements, as you might see them, but being true to those commitments and obligations seems to be the most "faithful" and "honest" thing one can do to live a life of integrity, no?
Wyatt and Beck, I get both of your points of view. Here's the difference I see: age.
The choices you make in your twenties are not necessarily the same choices you would make in your fifties. In fact, the advice I might give to a person in a mixed-orientation marriage would probably strongly depend on the age of the parties. I can absolutely understand why Beck might (authentically) choose to stay the course in his marriage. I can also see why Wyatt went a different way (with wonderful results).
MOHOH: Thanks for your 20/20 vision and being able to look at both sides. Not that I don't see Wyatt's desires for me, but I do see that I am not in his position to do what he did (and very well, mind you, and with "wonderful results" I concur completely!!). Unfortunately or fortunately, it puts me in the "what if" category of the late middle-age guys, even though it pains me to admit that.
I love this conversation!
BECK: Once again my views closely match yours, especially that "...someone has a hand in my life with a perspective and understanding and view much more vast than I have."
WYATT: I also agree with you about being faithful to self, autonomy, authenticity, integrity and path. These are among the reasons Beck is so easy for so many of us to love. He walks the talk. If you've haven't met him face-to-face I hope you get that opportunity to see for yourself. Also congrats to you on picking a path that was right for you.
MOHOH: I also agree with you. As one of the 50+ mohos who is even older than Beck, I concur that age is a signficant factor. Which brings me back to...
...BECK: Hey instead of being pained that you're in your late middle-age, why not just face the reality that you're a very young senior citizen? Just wait until you have grandchildren, then I think you'll embrace this particular curve in the circle of life. ;)
The choices you make in your twenties are not necessarily the same choices you would make in your fifties. In fact, the advice I might give to a person in a mixed-orientation marriage would probably strongly depend on the age of the parties.
Crap...
Where does that leave a guy in his mid-30s?
NED: You summed it up nicely.
As for embracing my "grandfatherhood" to come? Well, I think I'm ready for that and can get used to that idea quite easily.
As for embracing "young senior citizenship"... I'm sorry, but hey, I don't even open my AARP ads in the mail - they go right in the round file! :)
SCOTT: Double crap! The responsibilities, obligations and commitments you face are really the same as me. Only, you've got longer to endure as you've come out to yourself sooner in the cycle than I and other late bloomers did. Big hugs!
(Beck, if you'll pardon the threadjack...)
Scott,
As you know, decisions like this depend on many factors, including kids, finances and many others. It's not easy for anyone.
It's weird, but in my experience, you don't choose divorce. Divorce chooses you. You do your best to hold things togehter. Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't.
It seems as if you and Sarah are still in a period of adjustment and transition, complicated by an unplanned pregnancy and church drama. If you can, I'd encourage you to weather the current storms and then deal with the bigger issues when the sea is calmer.
MOHOH: No problem in threadjacking... you usually are much more wise than I and I appreciate your passion and wisdom even in a great threadjack. :)
And I concur with the "get-through-the-storm" advice.
Lemonade gives me heartburn.
Don't know how that relates to this post, just saying...
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