tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26181705.post6562900200159710880..comments2023-10-12T06:29:13.317-06:00Comments on Beck: InsecuritiesBeckhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06159223254071653666noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26181705.post-8876143205718816832007-01-10T22:08:00.000-07:002007-01-10T22:08:00.000-07:00It does come across fairly clear...I just wish the...It does come across fairly clear...I just wish there was a way we could discuss more real-time, because I empathize, and understand, and coming from my 4 years of full-disclosure marriage with a wife that has _serious_ trust issues, I would hope I could lend support if not give some ideas of a good direction to go.Kengo Biddleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12083962910965544925noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26181705.post-3427198641392244772007-01-08T17:51:00.000-07:002007-01-08T17:51:00.000-07:00RB: I didn't mean to overlook you. I didn't know...RB: I didn't mean to overlook you. I didn't know I had so many female readers. Thanks for following along and I appreciate any comments you may have.<br /><br />Thanks...Beckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06159223254071653666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26181705.post-2400828447845137192007-01-08T17:48:00.000-07:002007-01-08T17:48:00.000-07:00KB: The guys are guys she knows very well. They ...KB: The guys are guys she knows very well. They have been part of the Ward and neighborhood. Though they are in their 20s now, she's since them grown up since they were young teenagers.<br /><br />The problem is they "symbolize" everything that continues to be my "issue" and thus becomes a huge stumbling block for a mutual "friendship". I guess the good thing is both are gone away to college far away from me and so "out of sight / out of mind" right?<br /><br />The real issue always comes back to me and my desires to have very real, close and personal male friendships - and typically those friendships are without her, not with her... They can't be close and personal and intimate with her... so I'm in withdrawl and trying to restructure again. But I choose to be where I am. I am not regretting my choice to be married. I hope that comes across clearly. Right?Beckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06159223254071653666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26181705.post-53623205905274779332007-01-08T13:40:00.000-07:002007-01-08T13:40:00.000-07:00Beck,
Miki has gone through similar moments. I d...Beck,<br /><br />Miki has gone through similar moments. I don't know, but it might help if you were able to build a friendship with you, your wife, and your friends (Will, Tim, etc.) as she gets to know them with you, she won't necessarily feel that you're abandoning her.<br /><br />I would take just as much time as you do with Tim and Will with your dear wife and help her to know that you are devoted to keeping your marriage working. I know that's how it's helped us to cope and move forward.<br /><br />I'll post more on my blog.Kengo Biddleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12083962910965544925noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26181705.post-58772881747050669172007-01-07T05:31:00.000-07:002007-01-07T05:31:00.000-07:00Beck, I am so touched by your struggle as I strugg...Beck, I am so touched by your struggle as I struggle too. Two yrs. ago I came out of a 14-yr. relationship at God't unmistakable call that this restored gospel is true. I know the pain. I posted more on Kim's blog.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing your struggle,<br />RivAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26181705.post-86670137040696760242007-01-06T18:58:00.000-07:002007-01-06T18:58:00.000-07:00Kim:
I am flabbergasted that you chose to disrupt...Kim:<br /><br />I am flabbergasted that you chose to disrupt your blog to post about my recent posts. Know that I appreciate your words and wisdom. <br /><br />As I noted on your post, I sometimes reveal in my blog only the "Mr. Hyde" side of my life - the thoughts and feelings and passions and desires that I cannot and do not express anywhere else. But, because of this, I may portray that I truly am ONLY Mr. Hyde. I, too, have a Dr. Jekyl side to me as well. I do still have hope and faith and am at times still covenant-believing. I am active and faithful to my family duties and gospel responsibilities. <br /><br />But that having been said, I am very much BOTH men. I have very much BOTH sides of me - and so I am rarely at peace. I desire to walk the fine line for I feel good in both. I know that may be counterintuitive to someone like yourself who knows better. My Dr. Jekyl side knows better as well... But I'm not free of Mr. Hyde's passions and because of that, I don't see them as totally negative. There is so much to experience, to feel, to know, and I don't know any of it!<br /><br />Anyway, you've triggered even more thoughts. Maybe there is a blessing to all of this?Beckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06159223254071653666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26181705.post-65524050409654634912007-01-06T18:52:00.000-07:002007-01-06T18:52:00.000-07:00Emma: I am thrilled that you felt so inclined to ...Emma: I am thrilled that you felt so inclined to comment on my blog. I appreciate that you feel the realness of my saga and that it "rings true". That is because it IS true. I couldn't make this stuff up if I wanted to. It's too bizarre. <br /><br />I look forward to gaining from your insights. You add a voice that is mostly silent in this community of gay / SSA LDS sufferers. <br /><br />I wish I could say it will be easy for you and your husband. From my experience, I know it won't be - but there is still hope.<br /><br />Welcome and thank you!Beckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06159223254071653666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26181705.post-79186223913621558292007-01-06T16:47:00.000-07:002007-01-06T16:47:00.000-07:00Beck, I talked about you on How I Deal ... hope yo...Beck, I talked about you on How I Deal ... hope you don't mind.Book Dragonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02818222387302221638noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26181705.post-21214492662047503252007-01-06T16:38:00.000-07:002007-01-06T16:38:00.000-07:00Hi Beck -- I am heartbroken to read your latest po...Hi Beck -- I am heartbroken to read your latest post, perhaps because so much of what you write rings true. I am not a person with SSA - I am married to someone who has it. Yet, I often tell myself his struggles are not so different than mine. He is attracted to other men because of his SSA. I am sometimes attracted to other men because of his SSA (well, I like to imagine parts of our lives together would be sooo much better if he didn't struggle with SSA, so sure, I fantasize sometimes about life with another man). My whole point with this is that no matter what our challenges, we all have them! My marriage (or the destruction thereof) would be another story if either I or my husband acted out on our fantasies. But we, like you, choose not to. As for getting around the whole 'as a man thinketh' ' thing, yes, I believe some of these unhealthy thoughts must be replaced, but that is a process, one that can take years of practice. Don't give up! If your wife is so inclined, and she may not be at this point, feel free to point her towards my blog: emma-emmawrites.blogspot.com. Wishing you a brighter new year! emmaemmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06776704361791722497noreply@blogger.com